Serah Farron (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
herosheroine) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
theshipyard2015-11-24 09:23 pm
herosheroine) wrote in theshipyard2015-11-24 09:23 pm
herosheroine) wrote in theshipyard2015-11-24 09:23 pm
✿ || For semperpie
It hasn't helped that they were trying to work a case when the fight broke out, since every time they come to an impasse (What is it that they're hunting? Ghoul or shapeshifter? Where should they start trying to narrow down the search radius? What would be the best way to lure it out? Which, of course, brought them back around to the question of what they were hunting in the first place, since the answer would determine how they tried to corner and kill the damn thing.) it only seemed to stir up the pot all over again.
But now the job is done. They've got one night left in town with plans to head out at first light. It was to both of their surprise when Sam and Castiel decided they weren't leaving the room until they'd talked things over. The other two had then proceeded to close the door with orders for them not to step out until it was resolved.
Fair, Serah reasoned, since they were the ones that would have to deal with the tension in the car otherwise, and for her not to remember what set all this off it must've been stupidly trivial. She was aware of her own stubborn streak, as well as Dean's, but really this had gone on long enough. There were too many ways that the case here could've gone wrong, and then one or both of them would've been left full of regret to show for it.
... All that sounded great, really touching and motivational and all, but now came the hard part, actually figuring out where to start on talking things over.
She turned her attention somewhat away from where she'd been cleaning her crossbow, trying to start with gauging Dean's mood. ]
... Dean?
no subject
At first, it had seemed all that was needed was some time for them to cool off, to get their collective shit together and apologize so things could go back to normal. Only both of them were to stubborn to actually be capable of using that particular word, especially when they were likely both certain they were completely in the right.
Working the case hadn't helped, hadn't brought about any sudden epiphany that he could easily lose her at any time. Maybe because he already knew, had already realized long ago, before anything more had ever happened between them. Maybe this was him trying to push her away, trying to stop her from getting even closer, to keep his own heart from breaking any more when something eventually happened and they were taken from one another.
Or maybe he just didn't know how to admit that he was wrong. Let it never be said that Dean Winchester wasn't a glutton for punishment.
Hearing her voice break through the thick, awkward silence that surrounded them, he contemplated the merits of pretending as if he hadn't heard her, despite how it much worse it would likely make things. But she had taken the first step simply by speaking, and honestly, they had both been stubborn idiots long enough.]
Yeah? [There's a glance cast over his shoulder at her as he answers, before his attention turns back to the books and pages that are currently spread out across the small table before him - research for their next case.]
no subject
And really, if she can't even remember what set her off in the first place is it really worth prolonging this just for the sake of something as dumb as her pride?
She looks away, thinking back on all the people she'd lost when her town was attacked. Students, parents, friends... family... and Snow.
It comes back to her rather suddenly then, and she feels that much more ashamed and foolish for her behavior. No wonder they hadn't been able to reach a resolution, she was angry at Dean for something that he hadn't even done. She was angry at him simply for putting himself in harms way to protect other people. She remembers now, listening to him talk, hearing the similarities to back then. She remembers picking that fight, blurting out the things she'd wished she'd said to try and convince Snow not to be an idiot, telling herself at the time that it wasn't about her hang up on the past, but about Dean's stubborn refusal to consider another way to handle the situation in the present. It must have come out of left field because really, how many times had she watched him- or Sam, or Cas -do the same thing before by then? Yet she'd singled him out, while their backs were up against the wall and they were out of ideas. Castiel had come up with an alternate solution in the end, but the damage was done. She'd said things she wouldn't have normally.
Her eyes slide shut, face hot with the flush of emotions, but he can't see that and it's likely for the best. It isn't a real apology if she makes it about her. ]
... I'm sorry. I should never have said those things that I said to you.
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But he doesn't, because the calm, rational part of him remembers that there had been a lot of absolutely needlessly stupid arguing coming from both of them, and to try and place the blame entirely on her would only serve to make things worse when they had already gone on long enough. It was crazy to allow it to continue when it served nothing more than his own ego and pride, especially when he -
- No, he remembered now, could think back to the exact moment this entire ridiculous thing between them had begun.
In reality, it wasn't anything he hadn't done a hundred times before - wasn't even anything she hadn't seen him do a dozen times before. Being a hunter meant taking risks, putting yourself in the path of danger with your life constantly on the line. They all knew and understood what the outcome would eventually one day be, even as they continued to throw caution to the wind.
Dean hadn't understood at the time, hadn't gotten why she suddenly seemed so adamant on him not doing what was being suggested, even with their backs against the wall and time running out. So he'd responded to her annoyance and anger in kind and it had been blown so far out of proportion that it was a wonder the room they were currently residing in was even still standing.
He glances back at her as she speaks, as she apologizes, and it's sincere and real and not just happening because Sam and Cas forced them to be alone together and so they can pretend to make up to get out of their confinement. Sighing heavily, he pushes himself upwards, coming around to where she's sitting on the bed.]
Apology accepted. Now, you want to tell me what all that was really about? Because I get the feeling it wasn't just about me.
no subject
Alright...
[ Serah makes room for him to sit next to her if he wants, and turns her body towards him as she tries to explain. ]
I told you what happened to my old home town, the monsters turning up... and how we tried fighting back to defend ourselves. [ Her expression is grim and tense, telling of where this lead-in might be going. ]
In the end, it was my fiance who tried to lead the last charge. Snow- He didn't make it, and... I guess when I heard you talking like him... everything I wish I'd said or done to try to talk him out of it came rushing back to me.
[ Serah can't quite meet Dean's eyes, not for long, though to her credit she does try. In the end it's the guilt that makes her break away, though, guilt for not trying harder back then, for not going with him, and for punishing Dean for it by picking this stupid fight. She didn't try to make excuses for her actions, just gave him a moment to make of that what he would. Would he get angry again, yell at her for putting another man's crap on his shoulders? Or maybe he'd decide he didn't want to deal with that sort of baggage. Serah didn't know, but after the past few weeks she IS pretty sure she'd deserve almost anything that he threw at her now. ]